Molly McGrath Tierney

Testimony to the Maryland General Assembly

February 8, 2011

My name is Molly McGrath Tierney. I am here in support of SB 116.

In the spirit of disclosure, I am a state employee and  the Director of the Baltimore City Department of Social Services. I come to you today as a private citizen, and bring a graduate degree in child development and more than 20 years experience in the field of social services to families.

I think that’s what today’s discussion is about: family. Marriage is just a way to define family.

In the history of social services in our country there is precedence for limiting the definition of family. For instance, in the early moments of our country we found Native American parents unfit and packed their children onto eastbound trains.  In the early part of the last century in many places there were significant consequences for inter-racial marriage. And 50 years ago, federal policy was enacted that rendered low income women who lived with the father of their children ineligible for food stamps. I believe that the decision-makers in those moments were acting in good faith — doing what they thought was best for other people’s families. Hindsight tells us, without a doubt, that the impact of their choices was catastrophic. A culture was all but destroyed, people who loved one another were separated, and families in vibrant and important communities were systematically dismantled.

Over twenty years of work with vulnerable families in three different cities has taught me this: the only definition of family that matters is the subjective one — the one each of us finds for ourselves in our own hearts. Now, families come in all shapes and sizes: grandparents and grandchildren, loving couples of different races and nationalities, multi-lingual families, gay families, adoptive families….. People are capable of weaving together their own definition of family — some by blood and roots, and others by water and branches. And in the end, who you believe is your family is your family. It is the most basic social unit — and even in modern times it upholds the very fabric of the country. It makes each of us stronger, more resilient, more productive and better at being human. To limit the definition of family in any way is to act at our own peril. To limit anyone is to limit everyone.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I am gay. Last year, for the first time in my life I was legally married. Nothing bad has happened to anyone as a result. Only good things have come to me and through me.

I understand how challenging it is to lead social change. I commend each of you for the courage and tenacity it will take to keep Maryland in the forefront.